It’s 4:00 and my alarm was singing, I snoozed it in a hurry, before my husband switches it off completely unlike me, I use the snooze button. It’s there for a reason.
It’s not like I’ve been sleeping anyways, sleepless night again, chewing on a conversation I had with someone yesterday. Why I nurture conversations in the cradle of my mind, I do not know. It was a life-altering- type-conversation; one you try to ignore but your mind momentarily inhales snippets of the conversation ’till all is in.
The words tingle in my ears, creating images, refusing to let me alone.
I really want to sleep but I keep chewing on the conversation, so when my alarm went off, I was quick to put it on snooze.
I lazily made my way downstairs envying my husband as he pulled the duvet to cover himself and continue in his sleep, almost waiting for me to leave as I’ve been tossing and turning all night and trying small talks, while he ignores it.
‘Baby just close your eyes, sleep will come’ he replied to every conversation I’ve tried to start.
My mind shifts to the time of the year as the draft of the cold weather hits me instantly downstairs. It’s that time of the year when there’s promises of spring down the road, the rumours that the weekend ahead will be fine by the weather forecast gives you hope. I play my Laura Mvula playlist and listen to ‘She’ and I imagine the spring weather opening doors for bicycles on the street, buggies, joggers, everyone enjoying the fresh smell of spring.
A time I always look forward to and I go back to swimming. A time when I carry light jackets instead, gloves stashed away and boots are buried in the loft; truth be told I don’t put boots back in the closet anyways, neither flip-flops, nor party shoes. My mind is distracted again chewing on yesterday’s conversation.
As I carry on chewing on the conversation. I change my music to Nina Simone ‘Here comes the Sun’
I might just go for a walk, I’m in London after all, there’s a chance that people are awake by now.