It’s not spring yet, but in my head I could feel the sprinkled warmth of the sun, smell the fresh air mixed with wetness, I could see the green grass and flowers. The birds chirping a little louder and the glint of new green growth pushes through, aah spring has come. We can all come out of hibernation!
It’s not yet spring; it’s all in my head. Officially it’s sill winter but surely we can pretend. I should get back to swimming in March because it would be that time of the year.
Light has gradually started flooding my room too early, earlier than usual, before my alarm clock.
It’s getting brighter earlier now and I know that means less sleep, which is, suppose to be good. This bothers me, I recently started warming up to the idea of a pitch black room and now it looks like I won’t get far because where I sleep has a window at the top of the ceiling (like in a loft) so the light comes in and wakes me up.
While having a conversation with my friend the other day, so she really got me upset by her chitchat, she literally was picking on me. And this came as a shock, because I was the queen when it comes to picking on my friends, I felt dethroned. So I did something I used to do when I was a child and an adult told me off. Every child knows the feeling of being told off and you can’t talk back. Oh, or when my sister used to smack me, I use to feel like I was her toy to slap around. So in my head, I would be slapping her back and pulling her hair and I would laugh!
No I wasn’t a wicked child, it was just my coping mechanism.
So while my friend on Thursday was having a go at me, and really poking at me, in my head this was how it happened.
I ran up a big tower wearing a dress, and my lovely shoes, and then I saw my friend standing there, so I pushed her on to the floor and held her legs so that she was upside down and screaming. She was pleading with me not to throw her down and I told her if she carries on, I would drop her on down from the tower.
She was bigger than me and it felt good to do this. She stopped and just as I was about to bring her back, she started again and then I just released her and she went right down. I could hear her screaming, but of course there’s a blanket at the bottom so nothing happened to her.
You can call me what you like, but nothing beats the feeling that you won. Hahaha! I’m not evil don’t worry!
Pretending as an adult is very different and harder and now it’s no longer called pretending it’s called being fake.
You pretend your boss’ jokes are funny even when you think his jokes sucks. You pretend that you like your best friend’s boyfriend because you don’t want to upset your friend, and the list goes on, you can fill in the gap.
As a child, you pretend to be a mother looking after her doll, who pretends to be the child, usually a daughter. We used to pretend to be a nurse, looking after a sick patient; you pretend to drive a big car using only tyres; you pretend to shoot your friend because he pretended to be your enemy; pretend to be a wife when one of your friend who is a boy comes to play, until you try to kiss each other, then you get in trouble. Every girl has pretended to be a princess at some point in their life, guess what? Some still do!
You pretend you never fell in love with a guy. The last guy I told that we should pretend we don’t like each other? He almost punched my eyes out. He was too angry that I wouldn’t be his girlfriend, and I had made it worse by asking us to pretend.
But who doesn’t pretend though? Everyone does!
You pretend that you are living a great life when your life is not so great. Our instagram, Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, and Linkedin are saying something different from what it truly is.
So that’s what’s in my head this morning!
Weird right? Oh well, don’t blame me, I thought it was spring and when I realized it’s not exactly spring, I decided to pretend it’s spring.
Yesterday’s morning page was very personal, so I left it in my notebook.