I don’t remember my dreams until later on in the day, I used to.
Today I’ve woken up really deeply thinking about the future!
I want to tell you something! Something about myself that I’ve never really told myself. something I haven’t been frank about!
I have always thought the future is a long distance away! Very far from me! You know when you were little and an adult ask you what you want to be when you grow up. And you just say something that comes to your head even though you haven’t got any fuzzy picture of what the adult version of you would look like. I still do!
Now I catch myself still in those moments; almost thinking the adult version of me is decades away. My Gawd, that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself or maybe I’m in denial. Often I think it’s my shoe size that makes me think otherwise.
Whatever it is, this is the future! There can only be an extended version of the future.
I love challenges, and surely I really do love setting goals. Often I get so caught up in the act of planning for the future and doing everything to make the future better, for the promise that the future will be better today.
I don’t want to spend money so that I can have enough tomorrow, and I don’t mind doing without so that I can have more tomorrow. Even my clothes, I would keep them so that I can have better clothes to wear tomorrow.
To be frank, this has always kept me going, it has been me it gives me a reason to do things. Almost the same way a Christian will look towards heaven as the eternal home, the final place to be.
But what happens when that’s all you do and you don’t enjoy today!
What is the future? When is it? How would you know if you have arrived at the future, is it a destination or just a frame of mind?
On one hand, I’m not saying don’t plan, however the focus can be solely on the future and you don’t enjoy the present.
The idea of delayed gratification!
‘I’ll colour my hair when I’m older…’
‘ I’ll be like this when I’m married…’
‘When I start working I will drive a better car…’
‘I’ll wear this dress when I’ve lost weight’
I’m sure mine started as a delayed gratification, now everything I do is about putting it away for later. I’ve lost shoes, clothes and things all for the sake of trying to keep it for the future!
hmm, what to do?
what to do?
I want to start enjoying Now! I want to start doing things Now!