It’s a dreadful word. It makes me shudder anytime I hear it! It is a meaningless word too; the only difference between the word -perfect and myth is the spelling. Basically, in my opinion, it is a synonym for myth.
Women are so fond of using it! They describe their newly bought anything: shoes, dresses, hair extensions and even relationships! From a young age, a girl dreams of her perfect marriage to a perfect man, living together in a perfect home and with perfect kids. Sadly, some don’t snap out of this idea, it’s a joke. They still dream of this perfection in their 20s, some girls remind me of Giselle from ‘enchanted’ movie.
Men use it often when they have just got a new car and or a new gadget; they use the word to describe women or their relationships. Some expect Perfect hour -glass body with beautiful boobs and flawless skin like she’s from the magazine; she must be a good cook, good in bed, good at colour coordination (fashion guru), intelligent at the same time and also with beautiful long legs and no stretch marks. Hello? Not all girls are from the magazine, and the ones from the magazine actually do not exist (if you are a girl and you are reading it, I’m sure you agree).
Children use it often to describe their family, well they don’t know any better, shall I say?
My frustration began couple of days ago, being a wordsmith; I sat with my dictionary to end my curiosity. The ‘P’ word has been nagging me for a while now, as I found the dictionary meaning to be ‘flawless’. I wondered how true it is to believe that any human being could attain such.
As a child I thought life was perfect, until I experienced life’s own misery in diversion: disappointments, lies, abandonment, double-faced etc., these series of imperfection coloured all spheres of life, from Church to Government to education system to close family members even friends, let alone supposed-to-be- romantic-relationships.
Perfection is an illusion, myth, it’s unreal and deceptive. It makes you attain for what you can never achieve. It’s an illusion when women dream of the perfect relationship, men dream of the woman with the perfect body, or we imagine there’s a perfect job out there; besides no one is perfect and as a result there is nothing perfect that has been created by human or will be.
Actual life as opposed to perfection is when you realise your hero has a patched life and they are not what they appear to be, from afar and the person you admire so much, thinking they have it all together, is just another imperfect human being, struggling to make ends meet. I remember thinking I fell in love some years ago (bless my naïve heart) and that my life was perfect until my I realise that I endured the relationship rather than relish it.
Many times we often wait for the perfect moment to get things done; it is another way of procrastinating. If you aren’t ‘Sherlock Holmes’ then you might not detect when the time is perfect and then you would have missed out and never really even know. If we at least have a mentality that there is nothing perfect, we perhaps deal with situations differently than we do, we would react and handle situations with more care. No friend is perfect, no parent is perfect, I know and I’m saying it to myself!
Last week, when my friend walked into the living room with an extra fraction of excitement greater than she usually carries, I was impatient to do the calculation; as this was the young lady who left home couple of hours ago with a face like squashed banana.
‘OMG!’ she exclaimed
‘I got a job! I received a call and I got my dream job. Not only that, my boyfriend works a stone throw away from me and that means we go to work together, as in he drives and guess what? We get to eat lunch together and come home together as well. I’m so happy and this is such a perfect life.’
The smile on my face washed off instantly like shower gel under hot shower when she mentioned the P word. I wasn’t sure whether to burst her bubble or keep her dream alive by smiling. I went for the latter.
‘Really? It’s such a perfect life, I can see!’ I responded in sarcasm
I generally can’t stand it when people live in bubbles. In fact I cheer at the childish game of bursting balloons. I was that annoying kid at the party with pins bursting other children’s balloons, especially the girls in pretty pink dresses. I watch them scream and throw tantrum over a busted balloon. It’s a bubble, geez! I use to get in trouble a lot for that because I end up making a lot of girls miserable, for a moment. I still do it actually.
Ok, back to my friend. In my mind, I could picture myself bursting her balloon, but I paused for couple of days so she could enjoy it. I eventually explained the unreal perfect picture she has painted and she got upset with me. Well, we made up couple of days later.
Have you noticed; you rarely experience great disappointment when you already see something as imperfect? Ok, I’ll paint the picture. Imagine you are in a relationship, (damn it I had to use a relationship, I was trying hard not to) and being the girl, you were expecting the romantic type affair you see in the movie. Before you fall he has carried you, most guys in reality will laugh first because they find the situation funny; before they think of what to do next. Or he opens the car for you to step out! Lmfo, it rarely happens, and when he does that, know that he wants something, trust me!
Maybe you think everyone at work really likes you and they think you are great? Not really, most times, people pretend just to get the job done. So at all times, expect it. I moved house recently, and I swore not use the word ‘perfect,’ although I do like the house, and I would not swap it for anything at the moment. Guess what? My house smells of cigarette because I am sandwiched between two chain -smoking neighbours. Hey, it bothered me for few days and I got over it, bought myself plug-in air freshener and moved on. The only reason why I was able to deal with it was because I wasn’t expecting it to be perfect.
Let’s move to the religious side. Didn’t the Christian philosophy claim that God is perfect, and that we are made in His image? If God is perfect, then why are we made with flaws? Everyone is born with an imperfection.
First, accept that you are imperfect. If you don’t agree with me, how come there is something about yourself that you don’t like? There are a few things about me I do not like, but it doesn’t stop me from liking loving myself.
Secondly, imagine if we were all created with perfection, how would we treat one another, especially people with physical challenges? Even now we all somehow cringe at the sight of some obvious physical challenges that people live with, yet we are not perfect.
God finished His creative work and said ‘it was good’ he didn’t say perfect and that was after He made man. To answer your religious question, here are three steps. (1)Be born again (2) Start a relationship with God and read the bible (3) then Ask Him
Almost every hero in the bible wasn’t perfect and didn’t have a perfect life; From Adam to Paul the Apostle. Some lied, others committed adultery(s), peculiar one stammered. So God must be up to something, right? And oh yeah Jesus himself didn’t live a perfect life because one of his close friend betrayed him and the other denied him, and another one called Thomas, didn’t believe in him even when He resurrected.
Finally is there a man without flaws? Is there a system without setbacks, or impediments? Family members are a bunch of people who don’t get along and never will, yet you see a perfect family picture, because we care enough to pretend it’s perfect. The only place where you see perfection is in the picture, because it LOOKS perfect. Keyword- LOOK and the synonym for that is ‘it appears.’